Who to Ask and What to Know

^{Image Courtesy of Ravenberg Photographer}

There’s something so special about the moment when loved ones stand up, take a breath, and begin to speak…

It’s one of the few times during your reception when everything slows down—
when laughter, memories, and heartfelt words fill the room.

But here’s something many couples don’t realize:

A smooth, meaningful set of wedding toasts doesn’t just happen.

It’s planned.

And with just a little intention ahead of time, your toasts can become one of the most memorable (and meaningful) parts of your entire reception.

Who Should You Ask to Give a Toast?

The simple answer?

• Whoever matters most to you.

Traditionally, couples invite:

• Parents of the bride and groom
• Maid of honor
• Best man
• The bride and groom themselves

But there’s absolutely room to personalize this.

You might also consider:

• A step-parent
• A grandparent
• A sibling
• A close family friend
• Someone who played a meaningful role in your relationship

If they’re important to your story, they belong in your celebration.

What If You Have Too Many People to Include?

This is where things can get a little tricky.

You may have so many people you love… and only so much time.

Instead of trying to fit everyone into the reception, you can invite others to speak at:

• The engagement party
• The bridal shower
• The bachelor or bachelorette party
• The groom’s dinner

That way, no one feels overlooked—and your reception stays smooth and enjoyable.

Set Clear Expectations (This Matters More Than You Think)

One of the kindest things you can do for your speakers is to be clear.

When you ask someone to speak, let them know:

• How long you’d like them to speak (3–5 minutes max)
• Whether you want a speech only or a speech + toast
• The general tone you’re hoping for (light, heartfelt, spiritual, etc.)

This removes uncertainty—and helps them feel confident instead of nervous.

Planning the Order of Toasts

Traditionally, LDS wedding toasts follow a gentle, family-centered flow—often alternating between families.

A typical order might look like this:

1. Parent(s) of the bride
2. Parent(s) of the groom
3. Maid of honor
4. Best man
5. Groom
6. Bride

Each person usually acknowledges the couple, expresses love and support, and often thanks guests.

But remember:

The exact order matters less than everyone knowing the plan ahead of time.

That’s what keeps things flowing naturally—without awkward pauses or confusion.

What About a Ring Ceremony?

If your reception includes a ring ceremony, this is an important detail to think through.

Many couples choose to:

• Give their main speech during the ring ceremony
• Keep reception toasts shorter and simpler

Or…

• Save their speech for the reception
• Keep the ring ceremony more focused and symbolic

The key is to avoid repeating the same message twice.

Think of each moment as its own opportunity to say something meaningful.

Practical Details That Make Everything Go Smoothly

These little details can make a big difference:

• Timing

The best time for toasts is when guests are:

• Seated
• Not actively eating
• Right before dinner is served
• Or just after plates are cleared

This helps everyone stay engaged and present.

Microphone Setup

Make sure you have:

• A working microphone (preferably cordless)
• Easy access for each speaker
• Someone assigned to help pass it if needed

Your DJ, band, or reception venue can usually provide this.

Preparation Time

Give your speakers plenty of notice.

Some people are comfortable speaking off the cuff…
But many will appreciate:

• A few days
• Or even a few weeks

to prepare something meaningful.

A Simple Truth to Remember

A successful round of toasts doesn’t come together spontaneously…

It comes together because you planned it with care.

And when you do?

You create a space where the people you love most can stand up, speak from the heart, and bless the beginning of your marriage.

Final Thought

You have so many details to think about right now.

But this is one worth pausing for.

Because long after the decorations are taken down and the night is over…

It’s often the words spoken—the laughter, the tears, the love—that stay with you.