^{Image Courtsey of Terra Cooper Photography}

When your daughter gets engaged, it’s natural for a flood of questions to hit all at once. What exactly am I supposed to do? Am I paying for this? Do I plan the parties? What do I even wear? If this is your first child to marry, you may feel even more unsure about where you fit.

Here’s a practical guide to some of the most common questions mothers of the bride ask—so you can step into your role with confidence and joy.

What Wedding Costs Am I Responsible for Paying?

Traditionally, the bride’s family covered the wedding and reception costs. These days, however, many couples split expenses themselves or share the costs with both sets of parents. In other words—there are no hard rules anymore. The key is open conversation. Sit down with your daughter, her fiancé, and the groom’s parents to discuss what feels fair.

What Is My Role in Wedding Planning?

As the mother of the bride, you’re often right at your daughter’s side for the big decisions: choosing her gown, building the guest list, and managing seating charts. You may also be asked to help with hotel blocks for out-of-town guests and, of course, to meet your son-in-law’s parents if you haven’t already.

One of your most important roles, though? Emotional support. Wedding planning can be stressful. Stay positive, keep criticism constructive, and always let your daughter make the final call.

Do I Plan the Bridal Shower? Do I Attend It?

No need to plan it—that’s typically the maid of honor’s job (or another close friend). Your role is to show up, enjoy, and celebrate your daughter. And yes, even though you’re already contributing financially to the wedding, it’s still customary to bring a gift to the shower.

Do I Go to the Bachelorette Party?

Usually, no. The bachelorette party is meant to be a fun, carefree outing with the bride’s peers. Moms are rarely included, so don’t feel slighted if you’re not invited. It’s not about you—it’s simply tradition.

Do LDS Temple Weddings Involve a Rehearsal Dinner?

There’s no rehearsal for a temple sealing, but many families host a dinner the night before as a gesture of unity. This is typically organized and paid for by the groom’s family, but you’ll likely be invited to attend.

What Is My Role at the Reception?

At the reception, both the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom serve as hostesses. That means greeting guests, making introductions, and ensuring everyone feels welcome. You’ll usually sit at the designated parents’ table, and while a toast from the mothers isn’t expected, your daughter may ask you to share a few words if she wishes.

What Do I Wear for an LDS Wedding?

Choose a tasteful, modest dress appropriate for a formal occasion. For the temple sealing itself, the current policy is simple: wear your Sunday best dress clothes—no need to bring temple clothing anymore.

Wedding etiquette for mothers has shifted—what was once a strict list of rules is now more flexible. The real key is clear communication with your daughter and future son-in-law. Ask questions, offer support, and remember: this day is about their love story, but you get to be an important and cherished part of it.