If your son just got engaged, congratulations! Along with the excitement, you might also feel a little uncertain. Wedding traditions used to leave the mother of the groom quietly in the background, but times have changed. Today, your role is important—not only in supporting your son but also in helping two families blend together.

Here’s a guide to some of the most common questions mothers of the groom ask.

What Wedding Costs Am I Responsible for Paying?

Traditionally, the groom’s family covered the rehearsal dinner and sometimes the honeymoon. In modern weddings, though, expenses are often shared more evenly. Some couples pay for most of the wedding themselves, while others divide costs between both families. The key is open conversation—talk with your son, his fiancée, and her family to decide what works best.

What Is My Role in Wedding Planning?

While the bride and her mother may take the lead on many details, your input matters too. Expect to:

• Support your son emotionally and practically.
• Help gather names and addresses for the groom’s side of the guest list.
• Coordinate with the bride’s mother on attire so your dresses complement each other.
• Lend a hand with projects if asked.

Remember: this is about being present, supportive, and respectful of the couple’s decisions.

Do I Host or Attend Pre-Wedding Parties?

Tradition still gives the groom’s family the responsibility of hosting the rehearsal dinner. Some modern families also choose to host an engagement party (especially if the groom’s family lives closer or wants to take an active role).

You’ll also be invited to the bridal shower. While you don’t need to plan it, attending is expected—and yes, it’s customary to bring a gift, even though you’ll also be giving one at the wedding.

Do I Go to the Bachelor or Bachelorette Party?

Usually, no. The bachelor party is reserved for the groom’s friends, and the bachelorette party for the bride’s friends. Occasionally parents are included if the events are more casual or family-friendly, but don’t be surprised (or offended) if you’re not invited.

Do LDS Temple Weddings Involve a Rehearsal Dinner?

Temple sealings do not involve a rehearsal, but most families still gather the evening before for a dinner. This is a chance to relax and connect before the big day, and it is traditionally hosted and paid for by the groom’s family.

What Is My Role at the Reception?

At the reception, both mothers act as hostesses. That means greeting guests, introducing yourself to those you don’t know, and making sure everyone feels welcome. You’ll typically sit at the parents’ table and may be asked to participate in family photos, dances, or even a short welcome if the couple wishes.

What Do I Wear for an LDS Wedding?

Choose a modest, tasteful dress that reflects the formality of the day. Tradition suggests the mother of the bride chooses her dress first, then you select one that complements rather than clashes. As for the temple sealing itself, you’ll simply wear your Sunday best dress clothes—no need to bring temple clothing anymore.

Being the mother of the groom doesn’t mean standing quietly on the sidelines anymore. Modern weddings invite you to step in as a partner, a hostess, and a source of love and support. Communication with the couple and the bride’s family will help clarify your role. With grace and warmth, you’ll create memories not just for your son and his bride—but for yourself as well.

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